The art of holding difficult conversations in Australian workplaces

Mastering the art of holding difficult conversations is a critical skill for managers in Australian workplaces, as it prevents minor issues from escalating into major conflicts.

However, handling conflicts at work in Australia is easier said than done, let alone managing tough conversations that need straightforward honesty and transparency.

Throughout 2023, Australia logged at least 198 workplace conflicts that led to a loss of 99,300 working days, data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics showed.

The top causes of these office conflicts include pay, employment conditions, health and safety, job security, managerial policy, and union issues – problems that are very difficult to talk about at work.

Let's face it, we can't always avoid those awkward or tense moments that lead to workplace conflicts.

What if there was a way to turn those tough talks into opportunities for growth? Well, there is – and it all starts with developing some key conversational skills.

The hidden cost of conflict

Studies show that unresolved conflict costs Australian businesses billions annually through lost productivity, increased absenteeism, and even legal disputes.

Unresolved tensions within teams create a drain on resources and undermine a sense of collaboration.

While Australian workplaces often value direct and open communication, the fear of "rocking the boat" can lead to avoidance rather than addressing problems head-on.

This lack of action can create a perception of unfairness and erode the trust essential for healthy working relationships.

Moreover, proactively addressing issues with respect and professionalism is not only good for morale but also minimizes the legal risks associated with unchecked workplace conflict.

Australian regulations such as the Fair Work Act outline fair processes and standards for managing conflict, making these conversations a crucial aspect of compliance for managers and leaders

READ MORE | What are the root causes of employee grievances?

“The best way to handle a workplace issue is to actually deal with it. Honest conversations are critical for managers. If handled well, these conversations provide you with an opportunity to resolve workplace conflicts quickly and efficiently, lift employee performance and engagement, improve relationships within your team,” Australia’s Fair Work Ombudsman wrote in a managers’ guide.

Preparing for difficult workplace conversations

Difficult conversations often catch us off guard, prompting us to react emotionally rather than respond strategically.

However, taking the time to mindfully prepare beforehand transforms these talks from a source of dread to an opportunity for constructive change.

Here's what to consider before initiating the conversation:

1. Examine your motives

Ask yourself, "What outcome am I truly seeking, and what are my underlying assumptions about the situation?" Being honest with yourself helps manage expectations and maintain objectivity. You should measure the success of the conversation when you weigh the outcome to your goals.

2. Gather the facts

When possible, gather supporting evidence or documentation. This could include performance data, specific examples of behaviour, relevant workplace policies, or even previous conversations. Make sure to look at all the angles possible and always return to the facts.

3. Setting and timing

The right environment is crucial. Choose a private space free from distractions. Avoid scheduling the conversation at high-stress times like the end of the day or right before a deadline. Ensure you've allowed ample time to avoid feeling rushed.

4. Communication style

Consider the other person's communication preferences. Are they direct or indirect? Do they prefer the details or the big picture? Tailoring your communication slightly can improve flow and minimise misunderstandings.

5. Emotional health

If you're going into the conversation feeling angry, resentful, or anxious, it's likely to seep into your communication. Take a moment for self-care – deep breathing, a short walk – anything that helps you manage your emotional state before the discussion.

It might feel tempting to rush into a difficult conversation to just "get it over with." However, a bit of intentional preparation goes a long way in ensuring a more focused, productive, and less emotionally charged discussion.

Navigating difficult workplace conversations: essential techniques

You've done the groundwork by preparing carefully, and now it's time to face the conversation itself. This is where your communication skills truly come into play.

Remember, difficult conversations rarely have perfect outcomes – the goal is progress, not perfection. Here are some techniques to help guide the discussion in a productive direction:

1. Framing the Issue

Begin by clearly and non-judgmentally stating the purpose of the conversation. Focus on observable behaviours or factual outcomes instead of personal attacks.

For example, instead of saying, "You're always late with your reports," try "I've noticed that reports have been submitted past the deadline on several occasions. Let's talk about how we can ensure they're completed on time."

2. Active listening

Pay full attention to what the other person is saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Summarize their key points to confirm your understanding ("So, it sounds like you feel...") and use phrases that demonstrate empathy ("I understand that's frustrating.").

3. Managing emotions

Difficult conversations can stir up strong emotions for everyone involved. Acknowledge emotions when they arise but focus on finding solutions. If things get heated, suggest a short break and agree to reconvene later.

Remember, the goal of a difficult conversation is not to "win" but to seek understanding and find a mutually agreeable path forward.

READ MORE | The best way to resolve conflict at work

When to seek additional support

While many difficult conversations can be managed with effective preparation and communication skills, there will be instances where outside support is necessary.

If a matter raises significant concerns related to workplace policy, discrimination, or harassment, involve your human resource team early on. They are experts in navigating these sensitive situations and can ensure proper procedures are followed.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you and the other person may simply reach an impasse where no progress feels possible.

In this case, an external mediator can facilitate a neutral discussion, helping you both see the situation from fresh perspectives and uncover potential areas of compromise.

If you find yourself consistently struggling with difficult conversations, it's worth considering professional development opportunities.

Workshops or coaching can provide you with invaluable tools, strategies, and a safe space to practice in a supportive environment.

Recognising when to escalate a situation or seek support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Taking the appropriate steps to address workplace issues demonstrates your commitment to creating and maintaining a fair and healthy work environment for everyone